Today is the feast day of St. Thomas, a saint that is colloquially known as “Doubting Thomas”. This title, I submit, may be one of the most unfortunate nicknames ever to befall a saint. (Although I don’t think our “Doubting” Thomas minds too much, considering he’s in the presence of the beatific vision.) The nickname is tragic because it is misleading; he is not dubbed “Doubting Saint Thomas” but merely “Doubting Thomas.” The man’s shortcomings are not even raised above his unmentioned sanctity, and it is not out of the realm of possibility that someone ignorant of St. Thomas, upon hearing the infamous moniker, may in fact doubt that the man had any sanctity at all.
However, the Church, in her wisdom, has not only canonized this great apostle, but also given him a feast day on the Liturgical Calendar, making his doubts visible to the entire body of Christ, yes, but even more importantly, making his faithfulness illumine the hearts of the flock. We can learn a lot from St. Thomas. Here are three learnings that come to mind, which I have no doubt will help us increase our faith in God by following the example of this holy saint.
First, St. Thomas is honest about what he currently believes in and what it would take to change those beliefs. Consider this famous passage: “Thomas, called Didymus, one of the Twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples said to him, "We have seen the Lord." But Thomas said to them, "Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nailmarks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe" (Jn. 20:24-25). Thomas states his current belief to his fellow disciples, which, unfortunately, is “I do not believe Jesus has risen from the dead.” Fortunately, though, he is honest about his outlook on the world. And he does not leave his friends lost on how they can get him to move from a state of unbelief to one of belief; in fact, he tells the disciples explicitly: “I need to see Jesus to believe that he has risen!”
Can you imagine how much more fruitful evangelization would be if non-Catholics imitated St. Thomas in this regard? This is every Catholic apologist’s prayer: for those not in the faith to be explicit about under what circumstances they would be willing to convert!
But “conversion” in the broader sense of the word is not just a formal conversion through entrance into the Holy Catholic Church, however incredibly important that may be. Conversion is something that each believer is asked to do daily: to turn away from sin and turn towards Jesus by becoming his disciple. Jesus did not say that to become his disciple, one must merely turn towards him once. No, he said “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me” (Lk. 9:23).
This means that the Christian life is not easy. It involves dying to one’s self regularly. Sometimes, these daily difficulties can hinder our belief in Jesus Christ. Consider the common difficulty of experiencing the death of a loved one, an experience that shakes anyone to the core. “How can I believe in the good Jesus with this suffering around me?” one may ask. But if we keep the aforementioned principle of St. Thomas in mind, we can use our experience of difficult situations to not merely get through those trials, but also to strengthen our faith in the Lord. With the principles of St. Thomas in mind, consider a beautiful prayer that one could say to the Lord in that difficult moment of losing a loved one: “Lord, my mother has just died. I do not know how you are working in the midst of such great suffering. Please show me your goodness during this time of great trial.”
Notice how a possible instance of doubt (the death of a loved one) has instead been transformed into deeper union with Christ through honesty in prayer. St. Thomas did indeed doubt that Christ was risen. But his virtue was that of honesty, which opened the door for Christ to come in and turn that doubt into greater faith. In our moments of doubt with the Lord, we should open up to him, too.
This “opening up” of the soul brings us to the second principle of St. Thomas: he is open about his shortcomings, however embarrassing they may be. At the Last Supper, Jesus said to his disciples: “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God; have faith also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If there were not, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back again and take you to myself, so that where I am you also may be. Where I am going you know the way.” Thomas said to him, “Master, we do not know where you are going; how can we know the way?” (Jn. 14:1-5).
What tremendous weakness and vulnerability is in this statement from St. Thomas! After years of public ministry with his dear friend and in the final hours of Jesus’ life, Thomas still does not know the purpose of Jesus’ ministry, that is “where he is going.” And since he has no idea where he is going, Thomas has no idea how to get there. Forget even knowing the more advanced teachings of Jesus—Thomas does not even seem to rise to the level of a basic understanding of who our Lord is or what he is here for.
And yet, Thomas asks the question. He has the courage to speak up among the apostles, who are surely thinking the exact same thing he is. This genuine courage manifests itself in a spiritual openness to our Lord. And by “openness”, I mean an acknowledgement of deep wounds, wounds that only Jesus can fill and heal. Thomas bears the vulnerability of every fiber of his being towards Jesus. And Jesus responds by making Himself the answer to Thomas’ deep longing: “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you know me, then you will also know my Father. From now on you do know him and have seen him” (Jn. 14:6-7).
Thomas brings to Jesus his own wounds, his own longings, and Jesus responds with nothing less than Himself. There is no better person we could ask for as the fulfillment of all our desires than Jesus Christ! In seeking to receive the fullness of our Lord, our disposition must be one of receptivity to have the cracks and voids of our hearts filled with the fire of Divine Love. St. Thomas’ courageous question exposed his own shortcomings, but made way for Jesus to enter into his heart. May we do likewise in our own relationship with the Lord.
Finally, St. Thomas recognizes when he receives what he asked for and he conforms his life to that gift. The apostle, not being able to conform his mind to what his fellow believers had seen, made a desperate plea, one that almost seemed like a prayer: “This is what I need to believe in the Resurrection of Jesus.” Jesus heard that call for help and appeared to Thomas: “Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe.” Thomas answered and said to him, “My Lord and my God!”” (Jn. 20:27-28).
St. Thomas needed help in believing, so he asked for his faith to become physical. Jesus answered that call to help by offering Thomas to feel his hands and his pierced side. In other words, Jesus gave Thomas exactly what he asked for. Thomas doubted Jesus’ resurrection. But in less than three verses of Holy Scripture, Jesus changes Thomas’ heart from one of doubt, to one of belief. That belief manifested itself in Thomas proclaiming Jesus as “God” (Jn. 20:28), making Thomas the only person in the Gospels who addressed Jesus in that way.
But let us not skip over Thomas’ virtue; he did not need to respond to Jesus’ love in the way that he did. Consider Jesus’ interactions with the Pharisees in St. Matthew’s Gospel. Jesus healed a demonaic who was blind and mute, giving the person the ability to speak and see (Mt. 12:22). But the Pharisees, instead of recognizing the miracle in front of them, accused Jesus of allying himself with demons and building up the kingdom of Satan (Mt. 12:24)! Stories like these show that it would not have been unprecedented for Thomas to have denied the miracle of Jesus’ resurrection, even when it was directly in front of his eyes.
But he did not. And that is why he is Saint Thomas. he recognized the goodness that the Lord had given him, and he accepted—rather than rejected—that beautiful gift.
This great man has an abundance of lessons to bestow on us through his life and example, but the most salient ones can be applied to our prayer life. In our communion with the Lord Jesus, we should recognize where we’re at in our relationship with our Creator, to be honest with ourselves so that we may see how far we’ve come and see to what great heights the Lord is calling us. But not only should merely assess our relationship; we should also open ourselves to Jesus and give to him every fiber of our being. If Jesus comes knocking at the door of our soul—and he always does—we should let him into every room, including the dark closets with skeletons in them. Finally, when we give Jesus our spiritual poverty, our deepest weaknesses and wounds, and ask him to be our healer, we should not be surprised when he delivers. “Those who are well do not need a physician, but the sick do. I did not come to call the righteous but sinners” (Mk. 2:17). St. Thomas lacked faith, and in a way, he asked for it and received it.
St. Thomas can help us grow in deeper intimacy with our Lord, guiding us to an ever deeper knowledge and love of God. May he intercede for us on his feast day!
Great post, Jack!